The Sex Party by Terry Johnson

Author:Terry Johnson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Faber & Faber
Published: 2022-02-15T00:00:00+00:00

Act Two

Scene One

Continuous.

Lucy Traditionally heterosexual?

Jeff That’s how this evening started out; yes.

Lucy And in what way is this evening no longer that?

Jeff Well, that’s what I’m asking.

Camilla What precisely do you mean by heterosexual?

Jeff What do you mean what do I mean?

Magdalena We throw a party, he says, ‘Only straight women and men to the party.’

Jeff I said no such thing.

Magdalena And lesbians, of course. He likes lesbians.

Jeff I have no particular prejudice.

Magdalena Good for the goose, good for the gander.

Jeff What I’m saying is … and I mean no offence, but if we were looking for something transgressive, well … we’ve done that; we’ve attended places where anything goes.

Magdalena ‘Say goodbye to Mr Gnome.’

Hetty Who’s Mr Gnome? Where did he go?

Magdalena You don’t want to know. I can never not see that again.

Jeff Lucy; I’m as liberal as the next man …

Lucy But not when he reaches for your penis.

Jeff You see? We talk the same language.

Lucy I’m not entirely sure that’s true.

Camilla Unfortunately for those of us who believe passionately in inclusivity, we often have to endure the attitudes of those who do not.

Jeff I just think it’s incumbent on the host to ensure the guests are fully conversant with the inclinations of the other guests and that these things are usually considered heterosexual unless otherwise stated.

Alex Then consider it otherwise stated, and apologise.

Lucy There’s no need.

Jeff I’m happy to apologise.

Magdalena Always happy to. Never does.

Alex Please. The buffet. It’s a mixed selection of Waitrose and Iceland. I thought that might be an accurate reflection of the guest list. Joking. Not really. Tuck in.

Pause.

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